Letter to my 20-year-old self

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Posted on : 28-Sep-2014 | By : Amber | In : Rambling rambles, So...

The lovely Carrie Hope Fletcher recently wrote a letter to her younger self, and I thought to myself, “Self, you should do that”. Now that someone has been taking it upon themselves to be sure I understand just how insignificant I am, I’ve decided that it’s no longer a good idea, it’s a necessity.  Partly because I’m obstinate to the core, and if you tell me I’m homely and self-absorbed, I’ll do my best to flaunt both of those things in your face as loudly as possible, but also because maybe there’s a person out there who might need to pick up some of the things I’m gonna be putting down. Who knows? Like I keep saying, it’s my blog, and I’ll write what I want.

Dear 20-year-old Amber,

Well.  I’m writing us from 26 years down the road, and there’s good news and bad news. Isn’t that always the way? Which do you want first, the good or the bad?

Ok, here goes.

We’re still, shall we say, eccentric, still finding beauty in odd places and being bored by the things that interest 90% of the rest of the population. The thought of the zombie apocalypse still makes us kind of giggly, and we have even less of a “brain to mouth” filter than we had at 20.  Our hair got curly, which is kind of cool, but now living with it is less about styling and more about not angering the beast, so take that as you will.  Still have breasts that are way bigger than we’d like, still Irish pale, still not tall, not thin, not striking.

Thing is, you’ve been through some tough stuff recently, and you’re feeling pretty beaten up by the world. I want you to know that you’re  – that WE’RE – going to be ok. As a matter of fact, we’re going to be more than ok.

By the time you’re me,  we’re going to have some things going on in our lives that are really pretty cool.

We’re going to have not one, but TWO incredible daughters. Smart, beautiful, talented, and even more important than all that, caring and strong young women that will make us proud every single day. Oh, they’ll drive us nuts at times, but our parents say that’s just because there’s justice in the world.

And we wonder where the snark came from.

Anyway.

We’re gonna have people in our lives that love us for all our weirdness and not only do they love us, they GET us, and isn’t that freaking amazing??

We’ll reach 46 never having done the “walk of shame”, and be pretty proud of the fact – not because we didn’t have the opportunity for one night stands, but because we valued ourselves more than to just give it away for a night. We were worth more, and we waited until someone was worthy of all that we are. Don’t forget it.

I know you’re feeling pretty unexceptional right now, and pretty battered, but the road you’re gonna walk is gonna be full of as much beauty as it is ugliness, and here’s where that tendency to see the beautiful in the odd and weird is going to serve us well, because when others around us are going to be at a loss to find anything good in what’s going on around them, WE’RE gonna be able to do just that.

We’re going to – get this – WRITE THINGS DOWN AND GET PAID TO DO IT. Seriously!! Oh, you’re going to take your share of crappy retail and secretarial jobs along the way, but you’ll find that, eventually, you hold actual money in your hand that people gave you in exchange for your words!  We’re not wealthy, but we’re actually doing what we love, and apparently we don’t suck at it. Who knew??

So, yeah. Things can get pretty unpleasant, and I’d be lying if I said that the next 26 years were going to be all skittles and sweet tea, but to be honest, I think we turn out ok, and it’s the mountains that we’re going to climb that give us the endurance to keep going. Room for improvement?  Yeah, but at least that gives us something to keep working for.

Keep your head high, Amber.

Love,

Me

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Myself and my reasons NOT to listen to the opinions of anonymous mud-slingers.

 

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